I can't seem to get over my husband of 28 year leaving and sleeping with another woman.?

My ex husband and I were married 28 years. We had our problems. He decided to leave by moving in with his female secretary and after four months I initiated divorce proceedings and we divorced. She broke up with him and he moved in with another woman within six months and they have been living together for six years. They lived together for two years while we were legally married. I have moved on in many ways-new job new friends, but still feel angry and hurt about the whole thing. My finances were devastated by this too and now I will have to work into my 70's because I won't have enough to retire. We have three wonderful grown children. I don't know why I still feel so badly over all this. He blames me for the breakup and takes very little responsibility for any of it. I am still devastated after six years. How can I let go really and move on ? I have tried and tried to do this. I saw him recently at a function for one of our children and he said he still loves me and loves this new woman too. I never said I still love him. I find his behavior and words confusing. I don't feel loved and there is such a disconnect between his words and actions I don't know why he even bothers to say such things. I don't know why I even care. Anyone out there with some suggestions on how to get past this?